Go Dutch, Mom!

The darling newlyweds came over recently. Those we poured into at the high school ministry - now blazing their own trail in the world. He has taken a position at Dutch Bros. - famous concocters of coffee and syrup and positive teenagers. On his first day, they handed him a brand new laptop and a wage quite generous for he of less than a quarter-century years. The brothers-from-Holland offer catered lunches, a break-room filled with ping-pong tables and arcade games, and, of course, all the coffee you can drink. Jobs are coveted at this local business, recently written up in Forbes Magazine as one of their Small Giants. Everyone want to be a "bro-rista" or have a desk at headquarters. The company seems to reward everyday work ethic. Rather than demanding more-than-the-job-description work ethic, Dutch Bros rewards the average and finds their employees readily go above-and-beyond. The management seems to be more concerned about creating a family of well-rounded, energetic, self-confident individuals than meeting the bottom line or increasing profits. The super-friendly inhabitants of the quaint coffee stands seem to be the key motivator for the endless stream of customers ready to cheerfully wait in incredibly long lines (ever been there on 1/2 price or "9 stamp" day?) to pay good money (I mean, we can make this stuff at home for less than half the price, people) for decent coffee. But happy, helpful employees make for patient, satisfied customers. This explains the Love of Dutch stickers on every other vehicle in this tiny town...

In contrast, my friends, there is Ross. It must be awful to work at Ross. I know, because it is awful to shop at Ross. Ross of the Dress for Less motto is the place to go for a great deal. But not for a friendly experience. The forced greeting, "Welcome to Ross" that feels more like an attack than a welcome isn't convincing anyone that they really want us there. I feel like a criminal at Ross: I stand in the wrong line, forget to place my dressing room items (or item) on the little rack for counting, don't remove my hangers, fail to get my own receipt. I get it all wrong. And I stand in the long line of disgruntled customers, and reflect that even the great prices don't cheer us up. There's something wrong here. And it seems the answer would lie at the feet of the management. If I get it all wrong as a customer, I can't imagine how the employees feel. It would seem that, unlike Dutch Bros, the expectation at Ross is "above and beyond." The average work-ethic is met with lifted eyebrows. Only "more" will do: more products sold, more organized lines, more shop-lifted items avoided, more systems adhered to. But all they seem to get is more unhappy customers and more employee turnover. The Better Business Bureau gives Ross a well-rounded D-. No one sports an "I Love Ross Dress for Less" sticker on their mini-van here.

The reflection hits home. The ones who report here daily for the to-do's of the day - do they feel they are employed by Dutch Bros or Ross?! Am I a Dutch Mom or a Ross Mom? Do my children find their environment filled with joy and encouragement? Or do they feel a general air of disappointment everywhere? Do they get rewarded for showing up and doing what is asked of them or do they only feel approval when they have exceeded the line of expectation - by a lot? Do they feel they are wanted for who they are and what they contribute? Or do they feel they are simply cogs in a machine - worthy only when they conform to a model? Do they feel that relationships are the priority in this place? Or are rules the most important commodity? Is this life about growth and others and service? Or is it about the outward appearance, the rigid conformity to systems, the bottom line of performance?

To be fair, I do still cater lunches... Or at least dinners. But, on a general day, I feel there may be more Ross than Dutch Bros. in my attitude. Get the chores done - better; pick up the room - cleaner; play with your brother - nicer. Always more. Be more cheerful, more helpful, more obedient. And then I'll be happy, and say thank you, and be pleasant to be around. But what if...

What if I said I love you? Just because she showed up. What if I said thank you? Just for him getting it done to his standard of cleanliness. What if I rewarded mistakes and spills and bumps with forgiving hugs instead of disapproving looks? What if my attitude said, "I'm glad you're here; let me help you with that?' What would be the outcome? What might they be able to accomplish in life? What if I believed in them as well as believed them, being more quick to give the benefit of the doubt? What if I cared more about their growth than the way we look to others? What if I wanted them to feel loved more than I wanted them to make me look good? I mean, who am I fooling? Not them. Not others. Like at Ross, great systems don't mean we have it all together here.

Dutch Bros signature energy drink sports the tagline, "Get up early, stay up late; change the world." Well, maybe they will. The Dutch Mom sticker on my van (right next to the plea to honk if one of my passengers falls out!) has double meaning for me. It tells of the place I go for my children's birthday smoothies, but it also tells of the kind of mom I am striving to be. More love, more smiles, more approval, more free hugs, more...Dutch! It's a Dutch Mom Revolution!