Skip to main content

The Marriage Dance

I was crying on the shoulder of a friend recently - the kind of friend who lets you enumerate your entire list of grievances but then makes sure you know all the responsibility to change belongs to you.  And so with her it is safe to tell of the recent strain between The Man and I. Nothing monumental, just all the little things lately - us both under the pressures of moving and babies and parenting struggles - that added up to the blanket statement, "I just feel like he has let me down."

As soon as the words were past my lips, I was instantly transported back in time to the competition a few weeks ago at the ballroom. The junior dancers had no more than 120 seconds to impress the judges with their routines of precise footwork, elaborate twirls, and daring aerials. Each couple combined skill and risk to present a jaw-dropping performance.



One particular display of Latin and high steps and red skirt included a maneuver where the male lead twirled his beautifully clad partner over his shoulder, down behind him, and through his legs where he reached down to deftly catch the back of her head firmly in his hand just before she threatened to strike the floor just inches away. In the noise of the ensuing applause, the spectator behind me, with the baby the same age as our twins and with the privilege of being the aunt of the lovely red sparkling performer, leaned forward and confided, "When I came to see them practice one day, he dropped her!" I winced as we cheered, but I really wasn't surprised. Hadn't they all been dropped at least once? My boys, their first time at choreographed routines, had more than once stepped too slowly, released too quickly, timed too imperfectly and let their partners tumble to the ground. Each young man had at some time, most assuredly "let his partner down" - probably more than once! And each young lady had been given a choice at that time: whether to go find a new partner, refuse to perform any more daring moves, or to get up and let him try again. To trust him one more time - and to trust him fully, despite the past. Not one performance that evening could have been properly or beautifully executed if the one being twirled, spun, and lifted had stiffened in self-preotection or kept herself braced for a fall. But each couple performing displayed the result of hard work and trust and brought great joy to all who witnessed them.



I had long ago declared that ballroom dancing was the perfect picture for marriage. He must lead. She must follow, often without being able to see where she is led. But his other job is to make her look beautiful. She is the feature; she is not the floor under his feet. And in the memory of the ballroom, I found another lesson. Though this Man may have misstepped and I may have found myself uncomfortable on the floor for the moment, my choice is before me. I can walk away and refuse to risk more pain; I can get up and hold him at arm's length, doing my best to ensure my own safety; or I can take his hand of assistance and apology and place myself again close to his side and wait to see the dazzling outcome of my trust in him and his trust in the Great Choreographer as we step in time to the music of life.










Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Grace ... Not This Time?

I have thought to write this over the years, but I have always chickened out. Today I will say it. I read a repeat of a heartbreaking headline yesterday: "Baby Suffocates in Hot Car." I can never read the articles; they are too awful. And I always feel horribly sick to my stomach. And I can't read them because after the article usually come the comments. The comments where perfect strangers to the people involved berate them publicly for being the worst of parents, neglectful monsters, and worthy of death or worse. I assume because you are all my friends that you have never (nor would) post any such thing in such an instance, but be honest, have you ever thought those things?! I'm here to tell you (and risk losing friends in the process) that if you've ever thought (or said) those things, you need to say them to me. No, I've never lost a child to suffocation in a hot car, but... I could have.  I could be the one being called those terrible names. When ou...

An Independence Day Reflection

This Man of mine was a porn-addict. It may not seem my story to tell, but he bears no shame in it - having brought it to the light to be exposed and expunged and used by God for good in his life. It has been years now, but he tells me that every day he gets further from it, I become more beautiful in his eyes. Though the trap of pornography is usually about deeper issues than lust - often covering deep feelings of failure or inadequacy - it still warps the vision and the mind and imprints comparisons in secret places where there should be none. But these days, when I feel that even my best features have morphed into unrecognizability, his eyes still light up for me, bringing comfort and connection for us both. He is a slave no longer. In the perusing of these thoughts, it comes to me - I am an addict too. I don't seek the clothes-less figures. I seek the human approval. I have enslaved myself to the lust of likes and comments and digital friends. I justify my desi...

Mud Pies and Sand Castles

"I asked God to humiliate me.. . " I will my facial muscles to stay relaxed as the tall son begins, but inside I hear myself scream, " No! Don't ask for that! He might give it to youl l!" "Oh," I calmly respond, "why is that?" He explains. "At church recently, the preacher talked about humility. I realize that a lack of humility is what has gotten me into a lot of the bad situations I am in right now, so I thought I should ask God to help me work on it." I smile and nod. I want to applaud his desire for God's shaping, but I can't help but wonder if he knows what he is saying. Is it a homeschooler's error in word choice? Surely he means "humble me" not "humiliate me." Most of us have been foolish enough to ask to learn humility, but even a fool knows not to ask to be humiliated! And maybe I recoil from the word and what it could mean for him because I realize I identify with it right ...