Noticing More Beauty

As I overheard him reading theology (Wayne Grudem's Systematic) to a few of the kids yesterday, I was struck with the thought that I may have truly married a "man after God's own heart." Oh, he is certainly not the picture of perfection - I have lived with him enough years to know that. And yet... at the end of the day, Joshua wants God as much as anyone else I know. I have spent years looking over his shoulder, fearful of and judgmental over the things he has allowed himself to get caught up in; and at the same time, I have worked so hard to keep my own external image squeaky clean. But... If I take a step back and look at the heart of this man, he is every bit a David! His sins may be obvious and even egregious. He may even be able to ignore his own guilt for a time. But when confronted with the truth, his heart for God wins every time. Josh knows the closer he is with God, the farther he is from sin. And so, where I dabble in a relationship with God, ...

Rejoice always,   pray continually,   give thanks in all circumstances;   for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  1Thessalonians 5:16-18 Always.... All... Really? Surely not! I got the diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes last week. I know it isn't a life-threatening condition. I know all traces of it will most likely fade as the babies emerge. I know I can produce healthy babies even in the midst of it. But... I don't want it! I've had six full term pregnancies with no hint of GD, and I don't want to be constrained by what I can and cannot eat. I don't want complications and blood draws (needles!!). I don't want labels that make me feel unhealthy.  But... When I reached for my list of things to give thanks for, the only thing I could think to write was Gestational Diabetes. Not one other thing could I shake out of the pen. Or perhaps I couldn't because I actually refused to write GD there. I wasn't thankful for it. I resented it. But....